Use of Parental Authority

Directions: Below is a list of typical things parents do in their relationship with their children. By being objective and honest with yourself on this exercise you will learn about one important aspect of your role as a parent- how you use your parental authority.

Please read each statement and then select your answer whether it is likely or unlikely for you as a parent to do what is stated (either exactly what is stated or something similar).

If you do not yet have children or if the item applies to a child older or younger or of a sex other than your own, simply predict how you would behave. Select only one of the alternatives. Only if you do not understand and item or feel very uncertain should you select the "N".

• U = Unlikely for you to do this or something similar.
• L = Likely for you to do this or something similar.
• N = Not applicable.

So that you understand the terms used in this exercise, read the following definitions:

• Punish = Cause some kind of unpleasantness for the child through denying him something he wants or inflicting physical or psychological hurt.
• Reprimand = Strongly worded criticism, scolding or bawling out, dressing down, negative evaluation.
• Threaten = Warn the child of possible punishment.
• Reward = Cause some kind of pleasantness for the child through giving him something he wants.
• Praise = Evaluate the child positively or favorable; say something good about him.

Indicate your answers on the Answer Sheet

Example: Require your ten-year-old permission to speak when he is in a gathering of adults. U L N

By selecting the U, you would indicate that you are unlikely to require this.

1. Physically remove your child from the piano when he refuses to stop banging on it after you have told him it is becoming quite unbearable to you.
U L N
2. Praise your child for being consistently prompt in coming home to dinner.
U L N
3. Scold your six-year-old child if he demonstrates objectionable table manners in front of your guests.
U L N
4. Praise your adolescent son when you see him reading the right kind of literature.
U L N
5. Punish your child when she uses an objectionable swear word.
U L N
6. Give a reward when your child has indicated on a chart that he did not miss a single time for brushing his teeth.
U L N
7. Make your child apologize to another child she has treated very discourteously.
U L N
8. Praise your child when she remembers to wait at school for you to pick her up in the car.
U L N
9. Make your child eat almost everything on his plate before being allowed to leave.
U L N
10. Make it a requirement that your daughter take a bath each day and give her a reward for not missing a single day for a month.
U L N
11. Punish or deny your child something when you catch him telling a lie.
U L N
12. Offer your adolescent son some kind of reward to grant him a privilege if he will change his hairstyle.
U L N
13. Punish or reprimand your child for stealing money out of your purse.
U L N
14. Promise your daughter something she wants if she will refrain from using too much makeup.
U L N
15. Insist that your child perform when he is asked to do so for relatives or guests.
U L N
16. Promise your child something you know he wants if he practices his piano lessons a certain amount of time each day.
U L N
17. Make your two year old remain on the toilet until she has performed her "duty" when you know she has to go.
U L N
18. Set up a system whereby your child can earn some kind of reward if he regularly does his chores around the home.
U L N
19. Punish or threaten to punish your child if she eats between meals after you've told him not to.
U L N
20. Promise some kind of reward to encourage your daughter always to come home on time after dates.
U L N
21. Punish or scold your child for not cleaning up his room after making a mess of it.
U L N
22. Set up some system of rewards as an incentive for your daughter to limit the length of her phone calls.
U L N
23. Scold your child for carelessly breaking or ruining one of his expensive toys.
U L N
24. Promise some kind of reward for your thirteen-year-old girl if she refrains from smoking.
U L N
25. Punish or scold your child for saying something disrespectful to you.
U L N
26. Promise your child some kind of reward if she will stick to her study schedule in order to improve her grades.
U L N
27. Make your child stop bringing his toys into the living room when it gets too cluttered.
U L N
28. Tell your daughter you are proud of her or pleased with her choice when you strongly approve of the boy she is dating.
U L N
29. Make your child clean up his own mess when he carelessly spills food on the rug.
U L N
30. Tell your child she is a good girl or reward her when she remains still when you are combing her hair.
U L N
31. Punish your child for continuing to play in her room after you thought she had gone to sleep at bedtime.
U L N
32. Set up a system of rewards for your child if he habitually washed his hands before coming to the table.
U L N
33. Make your child stop or punish him when you catch him fingering his genitals.
U L N
34. Set up some kind of system of giving your child rewards for promptness in getting ready for school.
U L N
35. Punish or reprimand your children for fighting loudly with each other over a toy.
U L N
36. Praise or reward your child for not crying when he doesn't get his way or has his feelings hurt.
U L N
37. Threaten to punish or reprimand your child for telling you he won't go on an errand after you have asked him several times.
U L N
38. Tell your daughter that you will buy her something she has been wanting if she keeps her clothes clean until you go out to dinner a couple of hours from now.
U L N
39. Punish or reprimand your child when you see him pulling up the skirt of the girl next door and embarrassing her.
U L N
40. Offer to give your child some kind of monetary reward for every course in which he pulls his grade up on his next report card.
U L N

Directions for scoring:

1. First, count all of the L's circled after the odd numbers (1, 3, 5, 7).
2. Second, count all of the L's circled after the even numbers (2, 4, 6, 8).
3. Place these two figures in the table below and write in the sum of all L's.

• Odd L's = This number indicated the degree to which you used punishment or threatened to use punishment to control your child or to enforce your solutions top problems.
• Even L's = This number indicates the degree to which you used rewards or incentives to control your child or enforce your solutions to problems.
• Total L's = This number indicated the degree to which you use both sources of your parental power to control your child.

Use of Punishment

• Score = 0-5 Rating = Very Little
• Score = 6-10 Rating = Occasionally
• Score = 11-15 Rating = Often
• Score = 16-20 Rating = Very often

Use of Reward

• Score = 0-5 Rating = Very Little
• Score = 6-10 Rating = Occasionally
• Score = 11-15 Rating = Often
• Score = 16-20 Rating = Very often

Use of Both Kinds of Power

• Score 0-10 Rating = Anti-authoritarian
• Score = 11-20 Rating = Moderately Authoritairan
• Score = 21-30 Rating = Considerably Authoritarian
• Score = 31-40 Rating = Very Authoritarian